'Sports Illustrated' cover features Kaepernick's abs, Russell Wilson's penis

This cover is hilarious in all sorts of unintended (and possibly intended) ways.

Here's the latest Sports Illustrated cover. You may need to look at it through a piece of smoked glass.

Colin Kaepernick is the Situation of NFL magazine covers. http://ift.tt/1zFxJ0H

— Patrick Crawley (@pecrawleynfl) August 27, 2014

Some important observations:

1. Russell Wilson is short.

2. Like, really short. Is he wearing lifts? Is he floating? There's some sort of weird forced-perspective going on here.

3. They totally weren't in the same room at the same time for this cover, were they?

4. Colin Kaepernick is the beefcake. He's where the money is. The bare midriff pads. That's the look, right there.

5. For all the forced debate about Kaepernick being a "thug" and Wilson being "classy," that hip flexor "v" is probably why Russell looks so sad on this cover.

6. You can totally see Russell Wilson's penis.

7. lol

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