Ranking the walk-up songs of the 2014 MLB All-Stars

Troy Tulowitzki has a sense of humor, and Paul Goldschmidt should feel bad.

Did you know there are walk-up songs for the All-Star Game? I didn't until a few seconds ago. You can find all of the starters' selections here:

Note: You do not want to listen to that entire mix. Here are all the songs, ranked by quality of song and/or the song's fit with that particular player:

1. Yasiel Puig: Turn Down For What - DJ Snake & Lil Jon

2. Tyson Ross: Mastermind - Deltron 3030

3. Troy Tulowitzki: The Sign - Ace of Base

4. Aramis Ramirez: NO MUSIC BY CHOICE

5. (tie) Yadier Molina: Sigan Bailando - Wisin & Yandel

5. (tie)Miguel Cabrera: Ni**as In Paris - Jay Z

5. (tie)Robinson Cano: Tom Ford - Jay Z

5. (tie)Andrew McCutchen: Lights (Bassnectar Remix) - Ellie Goulding

5. (tie)Carlos Gomez: Shoulder Lean - Young Dro

5. (tie)Aroldis Chapman: Wake Up - Rage Against The Machine

5. (tie)Jose Bautista: Trophies - Drake

5. (tie)Mike Trout: Started From the Bottom - Drake

5. (tie)Adam Jones: Lose My Mind - Young Jeezy

5. (tie)Matt Wieters: Raised On It - Sam Hunt

5. (tie)Derek Jeter - Trophies - Young Money feat. Drake

5. (tie)Clayton Kershaw: Fun - We Are Young

5. (tie)Jordan Zimmerman: Hell On Wheels - Brantley Gilbert

5. (tie)Nelson Cruz: Alex y Fido - Rescate Feat. Daddy Yankee

5. (tie)Adam Wainwright: Song Of The South - Alabama

696,434. Paul Goldschmidt: One Step Closer - Linkin Park

In related news, Major League Baseball has announced that Paul Goldschmidt has been removed from the National League All-Star roster and will be replaced with literally anyone else.

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